Chips, I would say are the universally adored food stuff. For those who go to the trouble of making them at home, Gordon Ramsay reliably informs me that chips should be first fried at a lower heat for 7 minutes and then just before serving quick fried at high heat for 3 minutes for that perfect crunch. The reality is though the best chips come wrapped in paper, served to you over a take away counter – as a friend of mine calls them – ‘dirty chips’. Here is the Dossing Times list of perfect accompaniments with such chips. Salt is a given.

6. Brown Sauce I once met a girl who had never tasted brown sauce. I was so incredulous and subsequently adamant was I that she try it she wrote it down on a beer mat as a reminder and put it in her hand bag – I’ve never found out though whether she tried it – I am quite confident though that if she did she would have enjoyed. At another point I was munching down on a fry in a cool little restaurant in North Main Street in Cork and again converting people to brown sauce, this time American mates over to visit. They quite logically asked what the sauce was made of. I in all my 20 odd years had never considered this question. After I read the ingredients off the back they were not exactly excited to try it. Nevertheless the principle applies if it tastes good – eat it. And brown sauce is a must have with chips. Red Sauce people I understand but don’t want to join you.

5. Battered Foods: I think there is little that can’t be bettered from a little deep frying in batter. Fish is my favourite, followed by the sausage. I have yet to sample a deep fried Mars bar, and a reputedly good battered Bounty is also in my list.

4. Curry sauce – the classic, sinus clearing deep heat of curry sauce on chips is a must have. I love the combination of vinegar cutting through curry sauce, especially on cold days at the races or helping restore my faculties after a heavy night.

3. Cheese – grated and melted into a sticky goo. Along with warmed garlic mayonnaise or thick curry sauce or by itself, we’re in serious coronary territory but totally worth it.

2. Vinegar: In the same way that I distrust people with tidy desks and tidy kitchens I distrust people who don’t like vinegar. Vinegar is the pitch perfect accompaniment, cutting acerbicly through any other condiment you might choose to add.

1. Cheese and Onion Pie: A personal favourite and therefore shamelessly put at No. 1 is a cheese and onion pie, ideally from Jackie Lennox’s in Cork. Crunchy exterior, soft cheesy, fluffy interior, salty and herby, I know of people who fly out of Cork on holidays purely so they can go to Lennox’s on the way to the airport.