Rather than look to the words of poets, writers, religious leaders or political revolutionaries, this collection of wisdom, mantras, advice or instructions tailored to navigate whatever should cross your path, comes from where else but movies and TV. Pay heed. All the choices are effective, the sentiment of No.2 may not initially sit well with the tone of the other entries, but if you’ve seen the movie you’ll know it works.

6. On Ambition

Knowing where to set the parameters on how much you aim for in life is fundamental to feeling satisfied. We’re spoilt for choice when it comes to words of wisdom with this man.

“You tried your best and you failed miserably, the lesson is, never try”

Homer J. Simpson (The Simpsons, ‘Burns’ Heir’)

5. Laying Blame

To know how to deflect blame is key for never taking account. The quote below comes from a group of parents, wishing to blame a 3rd party rather than look to their parenting decisions when their children misbehave.

“Blame Canada”

Parents of South Park (South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut)

4. Forgiveness

Who better to look to for advice on forgiveness than an embittered ex.

“Some people say forgive and forget. Nah, I don’t know. I say forget about forgiving and just accept – and get the hell out of town”

Debi Newberry (Grosse Pointe Blank)

3. Disposing of a corpse

Professionals in discussion

Brick Top: “You’re always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together”.
Sol: “Would someone mind telling me, who are ya?”
Brick Top: “And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.”

Brick Top in conversation with Sol (’Snatch‘)

2. On what other people think

This moment of honesty between two brothers, caught up in a drama surrounding orchid poaching and writers block is movie dialogue magic.

Charlie Kaufman: “There was this time in high school. I was watching you out the library window. You were talking to Sarah Marsh.”
Donald Kaufman: “Oh, God. I was so in love with her.”
Charlie Kaufman: “I know. And you were flirting with her. And she was being really sweet to you.”
Donald Kaufman: “I remember that.”
Charlie Kaufman: “Then, when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. And it was like they were laughing at *me*. You didn’t know at all. You seemed so happy.”
Donald Kaufman: “I knew. I heard them.”
Charlie Kaufman: “How come you looked so happy?”
Donald Kaufman: “I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn’t have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.”
Charlie Kaufman: “But she thought you were pathetic.”
Donald Kaufman: “That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That’s what I decided a long time ago.”
Donald Kaufman: “Whats up?”
Charlie Kaufman: “Thank you.”
Donald Kaufman: “For what?”

Charlie Kaufman in conversation with Donald Kaufman (’Adaptation‘)

1. On making a comeback

The clip below offers a catch-all, every situation retort, that should be a standard in your repetoire of come backs.

“So’s your face”

(Dr. John Dorian, ‘Scrubs‘)